The difference is that depersonalization refers to the experience of one’s self - feeling like a robot or feeling detached from your own body, while derealization refers to the experience of feeling that the world around you is unreal. I am here to tell you that I did, and I would like to help anyone currently experiencing this.Depersonalization disorder, or feeling unreal, is now known as DDD - depersonalization / derealization disorder.īoth depersonalization and derealization are part of the same disorder. This exercise can be done anywhere, anytime.Īll in all, after going through these episodes, I felt like writing this article, because there were times when the anxiety felt unbearable and I thought I’d never get through it. In this therapy, the adrenaline from panicking is countered with the flexing of each of your muscles for ten seconds, causing a calming effect. The few panic attacks that I still had, I got rid of through Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) therapy. They explained that there will be times during the day when you’re not thinking about the intrusive thoughts, and when that happens, the recordings will bring them up, forcing you to be proactive rather than reactive. This is an Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) technique, which I learned from a podcast. I also made a voice recording with the phrase “Am I still trapped?”, which I played on repeat for a few hours a day.
I meditated for an hour a day and did exposures that mimicked being trapped and suffocated, because my DP/DR caused me to develop cleithrophobia (fear of being trapped) and claustrophobia (fear of suffocation).
Instead, I just continued to live my life with this new perspective. I used Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to accept the possibility that this new reality could last forever, and committed myself to not checking if I was getting better. I needed to be able to close my eyes and get used to the darkness. In order to recover, I needed to get reacclimated to my body. I thought, “How am I ever going to lead a normal life with these new terrible thoughts? How could I ever go back to not knowing?” My two themes were that I became aware of my nose obstructing my sight, and that my bodily functions no longer seemed automatic. The third and final issue came in the form of Somatic OCD. Many therapists state that it comes from childhood traumas, which was clearly not the case here.
DEPERSONALIZATION OCD HOW TO
There are also very few therapists who deal with these conditions, and even fewer who know how to resolve them. It is scary to know that you are the only person that has the power to get yourself back to normal - if that even exists. You analyze and slow it down so much, to the point where it feels like you are in “The Truman Show” asking yourself, “Where am I? Is any of this real?”Įxperiencing DP/DR simultaneously is an indescribable nightmare.
In addition to DP, I developed derealization (DR), which is when you look at the world around you and it doesn’t feel real enough. Thank God for online forums, which helped me understand what was happening and how to seek help. Like OCD, it was hard to talk about because no one seemed to know what I was going through. I immediately had a panic attack and wished it was a bad dream. Even though I was screaming on the inside, no one could hear me. The next morning, I woke up feeling like I was trapped in my body, and my eye lenses were the bars.
For the next few hours, I was looking at my body from above until I fell asleep. Depersonalization (DP) is the splitting of the mind and body, which is what was happening to me. It is said that when an animal is about to get eaten alive, their mind disconnects from their body so that they don’t feel pain.
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